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Looking after ourselves

Powderfinger
Senior Contributor

Being vulnerable Bremen Brown

I must admit, I don't personally know Been Browns work very well. I know many people say she is one the most knowledgeable people on vulnerability. 

 

I'm sure she would not promote vulnerability and openness with everyone. People that commit domestic violence for example. 

 

I'm just thinking it's so hard most of the time to be vulnerable. I'm talking about the kind of vulnerability of open and honest expression. I know what's it's like to communicate from my heart and not just from my head. Unfortunately, too often that has been exploited, betrayed and used to really hurt me. Not everyone cares about your vulnerability nor your heart. 

 

So my question always stands, open up or stay closed? To not open up or be able to feel safe in opening up really sucks most of the time, feeling like you need to protect yourself most of the time too also sucks. 

 

I guess for me I have had more traumatic and hurtful things happen than nice things because I've been open and vulnerable. 

 

Trusting, open and vulnerable. Until I learnt painfully that it us not safe to be like that. I couldn't ever say how many times I learnt this because it's too many. 

 

I'm not sure if I can ever get better again. I have never felt I would be able too. So much damage has been done. I do ask myself do zi want to spend the rest of my life working on it? At this point I tell myself not particularly. I've been working for 34 years just to survive. 

 

I know, I know therapy and so on. I'm.not here posting this to talk about therapy or fixing something. I'm just saying some if my thoughts and feelings on thus topic. 

 

Ramble. 

10 REPLIES 10

Re: Being vulnerable Bremen Brown

I meant Brene Brown. Auto correct! 

Re: Being vulnerable Bremen Brown

Hi @Powderfinger  🙂

I read your post and I will respond soon. I need to unwind, otherwise I will not get to sleep. But I will say, its important to get to know people slowly and only share with someone that you are comfortable with (information too)....

Re: Being vulnerable Bremen Brown

 

@Powderfinger  I am sorry you have been hurt by being vulnerable and open and honest with others. And would dare say you have been too trusting. I think many people with MI are too trusting, me included. Just remember its a reflect on them not you and there lack of character. I know you would never treat anyone like that. You have bought up an interesting topic and I am sure others will respond too. I was going to go to bed, but I knew I couldn't sleep. I hope to catch up with you soon.. Take care

Re: Being vulnerable Bremen Brown

@oceangirl 

 

I hope you got some sleep. I had a very difficult night last night with sleep. Got up at 7:30 and by 9am I was back in bed. I cried for the first time in weeks. The tears have been waiting. 

 

I don't trust easily now. I'm yet to determine if it is really trust issues like people often say. I'm.tired of everyone determining everything for me. 

 

It's an interesting topic though. I'm.reslly upset today so I am probably just not explaining things well and I keep.wantinh to fall.asleep. 

 

Hope to chat more with you. 

 

Ramble. 

Re: Being vulnerable Bremen Brown

 

Hi again @Powderfinger

 

My sleep was good once I got to sleep- I spend most of the day in bed but that is ok. I try not too put too much pressure on myself in regards to my sleep. You're explaining yourself well, you do what is best for you. I hope you feel better by letting out your emotions. I'm trying to get organized and feed my two dogs. Talk to you soon...

Re: Being vulnerable Bremen Brown

@oceangirl 

 

That's ok. If that's where you need to be, that's where you.need to be. I hope you managed to get energy to.walk.your two.dogs.

Re: Being vulnerable Bremen Brown

Hi @Powderfinger 

I love that you've written this

I'm probably the worst when it comes to vulnerability... I weld it!

Like a sword, I hold it up before me and those who seek to use it against me are struck aside, with no place in my life. If they can't handle the pain and trauma that created me they just don't deserve me at my best. That love, compassion and support is best given to those who are ready to use it.

I have learnt the hard way how to turn things like vulnerability which seem like a liability to me into an asset 

And you're right, often times how we feel just doesn't need fixing 

Re: Being vulnerable Bremen Brown

@Shazi55 

 

It ios very painful when it is being done to you. I am not at a stage in my life where I am strong enough to take anymore betrayals. I see it as a betrayal. Like you, do it to me once and we are done indefinitely. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me type deal. My thoughts are the hardest things to deal with. Sometimes my own thoughts lie to me. Thats the thing it does depend on what type of vulnerability was exposed and every single different circumstance that was done in. I cannot even talk about it. There are just too many and I really should not go into them. It just puts me in too much of a dark place. I really love what you wrote back ❤️

Re: Being vulnerable Bremen Brown

@Powderfinger 

 

It's such a very personal thing! 

And something no one can even suggest let alone advise us on how to deal with or what we feel about being vulnerable. 

Hats off to you for making your choices and sticking to them! 

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