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Looking after ourselves

Powderfinger
Senior Contributor

Mixed emotions

I'm not sure of any certain feeling. I'm actually extremely fatigued. The kind of fatigued sleep is not fixing. Recently I have started laying some boundaries with someone and letting them know if my boundaries are violated, consequences will follow. 

 

In all my 42 years of life, I have never had boundaries. I was never taught what a boundary was not why they were necessary. I've been teaching myself about it by doing a lot if reading and reflection. I have mixed emotions and thoughts. 

 

I wish I had known and understood that this is OK and healthy many years ago. I wish that my childhood wasn't do abusive. A lot of my issues stem right from my very early childhood. 

 

Anyhow, as mentioned started laying boundaries and consequences with one person in particular. I'm not sure how it's going to be met with, but I won't back down. I'm not being treated nicely. Thus person I do care for. They need to learn fast not to walk all over me, that Zim not responsible for their feelings, thoughts and emotions and I'm not their emotional punching bag. 

 

I have a freeing weight off my shoulders that I'm not responsible for carrying their stuff as well as my own. I'm also putting myself first now and saying no when I want to. There is NOTHING that comes before my health. I have various health issues and Zim putting that first now. 

 

I'm quite over having anyone around me that behaved like a child and cannot see they need to grow up and nature. They are certainly old enough to do so. I no longer accept excuses or reasons for bad treatment. Having a really messed up childhood us Zno EXCUSE. I had a really horrid childhood, so much trauma and damage. I choose to treat people well. My life us not an excuse to treat people badly. Unless you are a really horrible person then I can really give it to someone, but for the main part, I test people well. 

 

So tomorrow, it's a complete me say. I've worked hard and long hours for three days straight and I am utterly exhausted. I'm spending the day sleeping/relaxing. I will also lay down that boundary today with thus person. They can behave how they want and make their own choices, but that's my decision. They are going to have to learn the very hard way.

1 REPLY 1

Re: Mixed emotions

well done Ramble for putting yourself and your needs first its definetly not easy but its so worth it
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