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Hello and good evening @Shaz51 @outlander @yellowcorgi @Eve7 @tyme @Hams @maddison @Snowie @TuxedoCat @Sirius @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @FloatingFeather @hanami @Sunshineandsea @Basil @Peregrinefalcon @Jynx @Emelia8 @Jake63 @StuF @EternalFlower @amber22 and all forumites joining me in the jungle tonight. I hope your day has gone well and that you are happy, safe and well. Thanks once again for joining me here in the jungle. Tonight, I’m choosing to write about an episode of mental strength, resilience and in some elements, a recovery in what is my mental health journey. All of which happened to me today and which I’m hoping might show others in the forum community that there is hope and good news and positives in what is mental illness.
The episode revolves around my car having to go in for its scheduled service today at the local mechanics. Read on - long back story so feel free to ignore! For those that don’t know me, I’ve had a bad run in with used cars over the past 5 years after having an accident in my old car which I purchased near new back in 2002 from a dealership. My car was a dram to drive so I was quite upset when it got written off in 2018 by a car that rear ended my little hatchback. That alone caused me to have trauma as I was scared of being in that situation again even though it wasn’t my fault. It put me on a cycle of financial debt and having to look for a used car with no stereotypical male to help guide me from getting a lemon by used car salespeople which I did do but was hard due to being on a Centrelink allowance. My purchase caused me to have endless repairs on the car including things like a new battery within a month of having the car and then having a flat tyre later on within a few months later only to be told that my spare tyre was in fact bald and having to purchase 4 new tyres on the said car. Fast forward to December 2020 and this car had engine trouble which I couldn’t afford so I had to use my sisters car for a year until I could afford to pay off my loan from the other car (extended by a year due to needing mo way for a bond for a rental property) and with Melbourne being in endless lockdowns, finding another car to replace this car wasn’t an option until December last year when I finally replaced the car with another one and yet another loan after disposing of the car for parts as it was all it was worth.
This new car seemed okay except for the fact that after I drove it out of the car yard on the Saturday, I found the aircon didn’t work the following day and therefore, a call to the dealership on the following Monday meant it had to be taken to a mechanic at the dealerships expense to discover the air conditioning system needed regassing for it to work which was done promptly on the day. You could say I was okay with this only to discover a smell in May which wasn’t what I thought it was in a routine service which was $900 later, however this new used car of mine then caused me trouble in July which resulted in more work being done on the car when I was in hospital due to a psych ward admission. A new battery and some other work and $500 later, resulted in me limiting my driving of the car for fear of it breaking down and me choosing to pay my housemate Uber rides and using home delivery for Coles and Woolworths instead of going out for the next 6 months, with me being worried last month about my handbrake after my housemates birthday last month, causing me not to drive my car again until today when I had arranged for a service to happen.
Fast forward to booking my car in 2,weeks ago to the mechanic which happened today. I was worried about the potential costs of the service and any potential problems that may arise as part of the service as I didn’t have much money for this, which caused me to feel anxious, stressed and worried last night and resulted in me only having 3 hours of sleep until 7:30am when I finally woke up. The car was driven to the mechanics and I was told by the service manager at 8:15 that the car would be looked at around 10am. I came home and decided to have breakfast before thinking about what I’d do for the rest of the day as the service manager said he’d call me to tell me the updates of my car before he did any more work if required. Those several hours were one of stress, anxiety and worry as I kept on looking at the clock on my iPhone to check the time as I struggled to focus for fear of getting expensive bad news from the mechanic. I chose to get crocheting and work on some granny squares for my cardigan that I’d been working on since the end of last month and that actually helped me with 2 squares being completed. I was forced to keep myself occupied and effectively ‘sit’ with my emotions whilst waiting for the phone call from the mechanic which was hard at times but I did it. See below for the photos of the squares I completed. At 2pm, I couldn’t handle not knowing any news of the car so I called the mechanic to find out they there wasn’t anything majorly wrong with the car and that all I’d be charged with was the money for the car service - $230- and the handbrake was okay with it being just a design fault of the 20year old car. I did pick the car up after 4pm and after making a fool of myself due to nerves and anxiety in front of the service manager (he was totally cool about me being a mess as I told him about my car fears and anxiety issues with it), he told me my car was mechanically fine and not to worry about driving it as it was okay. He also told me I could bring the car to the shop if I was worried about anything and he’d look at it but not to bring the car back until I’d driven it a lot more then what I’d done over the past 6 months - at least 10,000 kms- unless I really needed to or until June next year when it was due for its next service which he hoped would have more kilometres driven than what I’d done in the past 6 months. My housemate heard all of this as she was with me when I went to collect the car so now, it’s a matter of driving more and limiting the Uber drives and Woolworths/Coles home deliveries unless I absolutely have to. I left the mechanics feeling a lot calmer and happier about the car which was a good feeling to have.
I guess what I’m trying to get across in a weird and convoluted way of mine is that today, I experienced many emotions and feelings that I didn’t like but I was made to sit in the moment with them as there was nothing I could do. The reality is, I’m not a mechanic and I don’t know much about cars except that they can be expensive to fix if things do go wrong with them. I had a fear of the expense due to my financial situation and that caused me to have a bad nights sleep all because of something I had no real control over, other than booking my car into the mechanics to get its scheduled service. I had to trust the mechanic to take care of my car which they did do and I had to wait and find out what was potentially wrong with the car which in the end there was nothing. I let my mind take control and run away with scenarios that didn’t eventuate and that affected my sleep and how I thought about the car. I lost effectively 6 months of driving along with the costs involved in Uber rides for my housemate and home delivery orders of groceries from Coles and Woolworths. Basically, I let my mind run wild and cause me anguish and other unnecessary emotions because I was scared and worried about my car which proved unwarranted in the end. I’m hoping by telling my story that you can learn from my experience today and realise that it’s often a good thing to challenge your unhappy mental state as good things can and do happen if you let them.
Thanks for reading this post.
Take care and stay safe!
Judi9877☺️💐🚗
