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Shoulder to Shoulder: Veteran Families
Shoulder to Shoulder: Veterans
IMPORTANT UPDATE!!! Temporary Overnight Moderation Changes
tyme

about 12 hours ago

IMPORTANT UPDATE!!! Temporary Overnight Moderation Changes

Hi forum community,   We want to let you know about a short-term change to how we moderate posts overnight. We are short staffed for our night shifts at the moment, and will be training new team members to help, so posts made between 12am and 6am will not be posted live straight away.   What this means for you:  Posts made between 12am–6am will be held for review and released shortly after 6am.  From 7am onwards, posts will be moderated as usual and posts will be live.  This will start from Monday July 7th and last for about 2 weeks; We’ll keep you updated here.   We made this plan with consideration around what has the least impact to the community while maintaining the safe and supportive environment we all value so much here. We are really grateful for your understanding as this will allow for us to properly bring in the new staff for night shifts.    While you wait for a post to appear overnight, it might be a good chance to check out some helpful threads such as: Help with Sleep   Mindfulness Winding Down If you are needing extra support in those time frames these resources are available to you: Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling If in immediate danger: 000 Thanks for working with us through this adjustment time everyone! 

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Saturday Soiree - 19th July 2025
Friends, Family and Carers, Fancy a Cuppa and a Chat, Connect now
Morning Check-In
SANE Forum Newsletter: AI Pets
Ainjoule

2 days ago

SANE Forum Newsletter: AI Pets

Hey all, I put my hand up for helping with AI (Artificial Intelligence) images and pets for the forum newsletter. We were thinking of combining the two and having AI generated images of our pets. I thought I'd post and see if there was any interest in having your pet featured in the newsletter in this way. To give an example, here is my puppy (Zigi) when she was a little younger: Zigi on my lapZigi in the carZigi sleeping And here are two AI generated images of Zigi (after giving AI the above pictures to work with): Zigi cartoonZigi Pawdust Is anyone interested in having your pet featured through AI art? We would need a 2 or 3 relatively clear pictures of your pet to give to AI (ChatGPT) to see what it could come up with. And maybe a little about your pets for some ideas of how to feature them. If anyone already had immortalised their pet with AI art and don't mind it being posted to the newsletter you could also submit that here. Thanks. 

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Wind-down Wednesdays
rav3n

4 days ago

Wind-down Wednesdays

Welcome to Wind-down Wednesdays where we work through a new grounding or soothing tool on every second Wednesday! 🌺 The purpose of this thread is To learn more about various grounding/soothing strategies (can add them into your self-care toolbox) To understand why we do it and how it works in calming us down To create a safe space for members to visit whenever they need to wind down and catch their breath. You can work on the strategy by yourself here, or tag community members to join you (please be mindful of our guidelines - remember that members may not always respond immediately, and let’s not place pressure on others to respond) Promote self-care and self-reliance in regulating your emotions! Got a grounding tool/soothing strategy you’d like to share on this thread? Email us (team@saneforums.org) to let us know and we’ll save you a Wednesday slot! 😊   The first grounding tool we’ll be exploring is the 3-3-3 technique. 3-3-3: Name 3 things you see: scan the space around you. For each item you identify, really focus on the details of it – what colour is it? Is it heavy or light? Big or small? What’s the texture of the object? Name 3 things you hear: what are some sounds near you or far from you, are they soft or loud? Listen closely to identify them. Move 3 parts of your body: it can be light or dramatic movements such as slowly rolling your shoulders, clenching and unclenching your fists, wiggling your fingers and toes, jumping up and down, shaking your wrists, etc.   So how does this work? Well, when we’re feeling anxious and overwhelmed, it can sometimes trigger a stress response where our body’s fight-flight-freeze system is activated, which you can learn more about here: The Four 'F' Trauma Responses - SANE Forums. This system is typically activated when our body identifies a physical threat, our body enters a heightened state of arousal to help survive – this can look like increased heart rate, increased muscle tension, decreased appetite, etc. When our anxious thoughts keep activating this heightened state of arousal, it can lead to a very dysregulated nervous system where our bodies keep reacting out of proportion to the threat, making it hard to calm down. Moving our focus from internal things (like anxious thoughts/feelings) to external things (like what we can see/hear), helps us slow things down and calm the stress response. It gives our body a chance to focus on things that it perceived as non-threatening (i.e. identifying a cup or a bird flying around), which gives our body a chance to slowly calm down. Practicing grounding techniques regularly can help regulate the nervous system with time. For more information, feel free to read this article: 3-3-3 Rule for Anxiety: How to Use, Scientific Basis, Other Coping Strategies Now let’s give it a go! Feel free to share the 3 things you saw, heard and the 3 body parts you moved – and any other reflections you’d like to add. 

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Name Our Community Newsletter!
rav3n

12 days ago

Name Our Community Newsletter!

Hey everyone! 💗 Our EOI for the forums newsletter is now closed. If you’ve expressed interest to us, you would’ve received an email already – if you haven’t, please let us know. Thank you to everyone who’s put their hand up for this round, we’re so excited for this project and keen to see everyone's pieces!! For anyone who missed out, don’t worry – there’ll be more opportunities when we do future newsletters! Now onto our next stage… deciding on a title for the newsletter! The forums newsletter is: a recovery-focused space for the SANE Forums community, created by the SANE Forums community and we’d like a title that really encompasses those 2 values. If you have a title you’d like to suggest for consideration, please post it below – the posted title with the most likes (and that meets the criteria above) by July 18th 2025 will be chosen for the newsletter! Looking forward to seeing everyone's ideas!! ✍️

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Hearing voices and psychosis 🗯️
RiverSeal

8 days ago

Hearing voices and psychosis 🗯️

Hey Forums friends,   If you are like me and you have experienced hearing voices and maybe even had a psychotic episode, then this is a thread to share your experiences and have discussions!   I have shared some of my story and recovery journey here in responding to Members, and I also did the Lived Experience of Hearing Voices Webinar in late 2024, and the Topic Tuesday, Living a Meaningful Life with Schizophrenia, in mid-2022. My mental health experience is hearing voices and experiencing delusions. I have had many psychotic episodes and been on the mental health ward many times, diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2016 after 9 years of misdiagnosis (Borderline Personality Disorder with drug-induced psychosis), been on the DSP, and I am an NDIS participant. In 2017, I started studying at TAFE and I now have 6 qualifications in NDIS, Community Services, Alcohol and Other Drugs, Sexual Violence and Mental Health Peer Work. I work with people who experience complex mental health, AOD, and gender identity issues and use my lived experience to provide peer support.   Most of the challenges I have experienced happened over 9 years, from 2007 to 2016, when I started experiencing psychotic episodes and presenting to ED at least 9 times, resulting in 7 hospital mental health ward admissions. However, in late 2001, I was overseas and had a breakdown which led to AOD misuse, unstable housing and extremely heightened emotions for 1 year until I returned to Melbourne. On my return to Melbourne, I misused AOD, and even though I worked several jobs to get by, I was experiencing many other life challenges, anxiety, and depression. As a result of my first psychotic episode in 2007, I lost my long-term girlfriend, career, job, I put on a lot of weight from the antipsychotics, started smoking and lost my fitness, lost my passion for mountain biking, swimming and the gym and had to go bankrupt. In 2009, after my second psychotic episode, I mostly gave up misusing AOD and started working with a. psychiatrist and taking my antipsychotic as prescribed, but was not very engaged in my treatment as I believed the alternate reality that was my voices and delusions.   In 2016, I had a turning point in my life and started my recovery journey with what at the time seemed like an insurmountable challenge. I had my diagnosis changed from BPD with drug-induced psychosis to schizophrenia, and I thought that my life was over. I only knew the stigma and discrimination that I had heard, and I thought that if I had schizophrenia, I was not in a good position to put it politely. I went home and looked up schizophrenia online, and I immediately identified with the diagnosis as it sounded like someone had written about my life. I literally thought that if I could sit on a couch and watch TV, that was what I expected I could do for the rest of my life, if I was lucky. Somewhere deep inside me I was not willing to accept this and I engaged with my treating team, researched everything I could find about schizophrenia, watched endless YouTube videos on other people and recovery stories, took my medication as prescribed and made countless mistakes trying to find a way to exist in the loneliness and isolation that was my life living interstate from my family and having been abandoned by people I used to call friends.   My recovery journey from that place I was not willing to accept feels like wading through water, not knowing what direction the shore is in, how far it is, or how long it will take to get there. I’m still not there, and I believe I will be in recovery for the rest of my life. Along the way, I have met some people who supported me, believed in me and gave me opportunities. I have also had even some of the same people and others say the cruellest and most insensitive things, holding me back by not accepting that I am creating a new life that is meaningful and purposeful. I learned that I truly need to believe in myself and my abilities, hone in on my values and beliefs, and never accept less than what I deserve. Recovery is so hard and so challenging, and to walk the recovery journey path, you just need to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward, and it will reveal what is uniquely your experience.     As you might be able to imagine, over 20 + years, there were many challenging situations, not to mention that I was also trying to process my gender identity, as I identify as a transgender woman. This is really just in a nutshell to keep it from being an essay, so please ask questions and be curious if there is anything that you want to understand more deeply!   Let’s create some discussion, and here are some questions (but not limited to) to get us started:   What are some of the challenges you are facing in your recovery?   What supports, services and resources do you regularly engage with in your recovery?   What does recovery look like to you?   What have you learned in recovery that may support another Member?   We also want to hear about your experiences, so if you feel comfortable, please share your story, your challenges and what you have learned!   We all have it within ourselves to live a meaningful and fulfilling life with or without symptoms    RiverSeal ❤️   Just tagging in some Members who may be interested in this thread!!   @Egonza @Patchworks @maddison @Millielulu @TAB @A0ri021 @LW1969 @Elisena @Judi9877 @Eve7 @StuF @Meredyth49 @DIDJane @Dk5 @MissRenae08  @MeerkatMonsta @Hope @recovery @Libra @Cleo2 @Jaybee12321 @sol_87  @Paperdaisy @MDT @boofhead73 @Anon1975 @Bunniekins @Hemlock @Krishna  @Dimity @Dreamy @Eden @creative_writer     

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RECORDING: The Hidden Impact of Military Service on Families of Veterans
Ru-bee

30 days ago

RECORDING: The Hidden Impact of Military Service on Families of Veterans

In this FREE 60-minute webinar, Ruth Clare, author of Enemy and renowned lived experience speaker, will explore the often-unseen impacts of military trauma on the families of veterans - Watch the recording below   This webinar will explore:  Personal stories and reflections from Ruth’s journey growing up in a veteran household  The emotional and psychological effects of military trauma on children and partners  Links between PTSD, domestic violence, parenting and relationship challenges, and alcohol use  The impact of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) and why supporting children of veterans is essential  Tools and strategies Ruth found most effective for her healing journey    Includes community Q&A.    About Ruth Clare  Ruth Clare is the award-winning author of Enemy, a memoir about growing up as the child of a Vietnam veteran. She is also a TEDx and keynote speaker, qualified scientist, coach, and copywriter. Her work combines compelling storytelling, research, and practical tools to support others facing trauma to create thriving lives. Her TEDx talk, The Pain of Hiding Your True Self, has reached over half a million viewers, and her next two books, Beyond Fight Flight Freeze Fawn and Turn Fear into Courage, will be published this year.       

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How to Create a SANE Forums Account
Ru-bee

about 1 month ago

How to Create a SANE Forums Account

Hello! For those who are interested in the SANE forums, maybe you have spent some time taking a look around and reading threads and are now wondering how to get involved, here’s a quick guide for how to sign up and sign in to the SANE forums. Let’s start with an overview of why you might like to sign up: The SANE forums are a free, anonymous space to access peer to peer support, and is accessible 24/7 on any device They are moderated by mental health professionals for safety and support Open to adults in Australia living with mental health issues, their families, friends, and carers How to Start an Account Go to the SANE Forums Website: saneforums.org    Register for an Account Click “Sign up” to create an account. Fill in the registration form: Create a unique username (do not use your real name or a name that might be otherwise identifiable for privacy) Provide a valid email address and basic personal information Set a secure password Agree to the Terms & Conditions and Community Guidelines Don’t forget to click “Sign up” Confirm Your Email Check your email inbox for a confirmation message (don’t forget to check your junk folder too!) Click the link in the email to activate your account. How to Log In Return to saneforums.org Click “Log In” Enter Your Username and Password Use the details you created during registration. Access the Forums Once logged in, you can: Read and join discussions Post questions or comments Connect with others for support Some extra notes: You can browse and read forum posts without registering, but you must create an account to post or interact. SANE Forums are anonymous and moderated 24/7 to ensure safety and privacy. Only one account per person is allowed, and you must be over 18 and living in Australia. If you have trouble registering or logging in, visit the site’s help section or contact SANE Support Services. Safety Note:SANE Forums are not a crisis service. If you need urgent help, contact Lifeline (13 11 14) or emergency services (000).

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✨Sunday Intention Setting✨
AuntGlow

4 days ago

✨Sunday Intention Setting✨

Hello lovely people, I have been reflecting on some ways we can support you all through our recovery-oriented way of connecting on the forums, and thought that creating a weekly intention setting/reflection conversation could be really helpful. 🥰 Intention-setting can allow us to more mindfully focus our attention onto the things we would like to explore more of (without too much pressure!). And when we do so within community, it can help us to feel more supported as we go about exploring new habits and ideas. Now, this isn't about showing up perfectly or reaching all of our 'goals' overnight, but rather, exploring what is possible, what we enjoy, and how we can feel more safely connected to ourselves.  So, what will this look like exactly? 1. Set your intention for the week. For example, I am going to practice allowing myself 5 minutes a day to slow down. 2. Reflect. You can do this throughout the week via your notes app, a journal, or here on the forums. *Notice what feels good, what doesn't, and why.  3. Share the following Sunday. Let us know what you were able to explore and what came up for you/if you have any questions or need some support.  Remember - there is no right or wrong! It's so fine if all you did was hold the intention in the back of your mind - change takes time. I would love you all to have fun with this and to explore things from a place of curiosity and compassion. 💛 And... go! @Dreamy @MissinTooth @Bow @Shaz51 @Captain24 @creative_writer @avant-garde @Oaktree @ENKELI @Dimity @Semly @Appleblossom @MJG017 @Sunnyside226 @Blackcloud @PeppyPatti @Till23  @Jynx @tyme @Ru-bee @rav3n @RiverSeal 

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How To: Recovery Focused Posting
Jynx

about 1 month ago

How To: Recovery Focused Posting

Hi there SANE Forums Fam!     This how-to guide was designed to help you post to the forums and create safety for yourself and others when talking about those tough topics, such as suicidal ideation and self-harm related thoughts and urges.    We hope that this guide will help you to share safely about thoughts of suicide and self-harm, and seek support from others who understand what you are going through.      What is recovery focused posting?    When we talk about posting in a way that is recovery-oriented or recovery focused, we are encouraging posting in a way that protects both you, and the community. We let the community know what we need, so that it means even on the tough days, we are all here to support each other's safety and well-being.    What it is -  a way to communicate our needs so we can get the right support all about keeping the community safe  a way for us all to keep working on building our resilience and capacity What it isn't -  about banning or forbidding discussion of the difficult topics a requirement to 'always be positive' or to pretend we're feeling okay when we're not a restriction on sharing big, dark, or difficult feelings Having a 'recovery focus' is all about highlighting our needs, what's worked for us before, and what may or may not be helpful for us now. It helps reduce confusion and concern, helps reduce anxiety for members reading along, and reduces the risk of us triggering or getting triggered. It can even be empowering for us, in helping us learn to identify our support and recovery needs and practice communicating them to the people around us.    Here are some examples of ways we can make our posts recovery focused:       For many members and readers here on the SANE Forums, thoughts of suicide and struggles with self-harm are a common part of their mental health or life journey. It's often difficult to talk about these topics, so we want folks to feel like they can be open about what they're going through - without the risk of accidentally encouraging each others rumination or risky behaviours.   If you are thinking about suicide, reaching out for support and talking about it is an important step to make sure that you get the right help when you need it most. The forums offers a judgement-free space to express ourselves, and we want to continue to encourage people to feel safe in sharing their story here. Creating a safe community starts with how we use our language.   Safe language is important because:   It allows others to feel capable and comfortable with providing us with support.   It can protect others from common triggers and help someone else who is sitting with thoughts of suicide too.   How we talk about suicide in the Forums is important for you, and for your fellow community members.      Before you post to the Forums    The SANE Forums are a peer support community where most of the support is provided by peers. This makes it a great place to seek support from others who understand what you are going through.    It's important to note though, the SANE Forums cannot provide crisis support. We have put together some questions you can ask yourself before posting to work out whether it’s the SANE Forums or a crisis service that might be the best option for you in the moment (adapted from the Chatsafe online resource).    Where is the right place/service for me to ensure I get the right help at the right time? If you are thinking about suicide, it’s important to get the right help at the right time.     We have a flow chart to help you decide where the right place or service might be for you to seek help. This includes when it is okay to post to the SANE Forums, or when crisis services or emergency support might be the best avenue get the support you need.        As a peer-to-peer support service, the SANE Forums can’t provide crisis support   This is because:  Most of the peer support that is offered across the forums comes from other members just like you. In a crisis, or when you are feeling unsafe, it is important that help comes from people who are trained to provide crisis support.  The nature of online forums mean that replies aren’t instant. This means you may not get the help exactly when you need it.  We do have Moderators and Peer Support Workers online 24/7 to monitor posts and offer support when needed, but the nature of forums means we can’t always be as responsive as you might need in a crisis. That’s where phone or webchat crisis supports are a good option to get timely support.   Language can be ambiguous or interpreted in different ways in online, which is why when we are concerned that someone might be thinking about suicide, we check in via post or email, and refer to crisis support  What am I hoping to get out of sharing my story? (aka: my purpose and needs)    People talk about experiences of suicide for many reasons. This includes seeking help and support for thoughts of suicide, to raise awareness, or to support another person who might be going through something similar. There are lots of different reasons. Understanding your reason/purpose will help you work out the right avenue to meet your needs.     What parts of my story am I comfortable to share and how will I feel when I share? (aka: my privacy and wellbeing)   We all have different boundaries around how much of ourselves and our story we feel comfortable to share in a public space.    Ensuring you feel safe to share when talking about thoughts of suicide is important, whether that is in an online space, a private space (eg: with a counsellor or mental health professional), or with a trusted person in our lives.       How can I write my story in a way that ensures I get the support I need AND is safe for others reading?   Think about how you would write your story and whether you are in a space to be able to write in a way that is safe for all to read.     We have some tips to help you do this. You can also look at our Community Guidelines.   How can I write about thoughts of suicide safely?    Let the community know that you are safe:  If you are posting about suicide, and are safe, then include that in your post.  For example: “I have been coping with thoughts of suicide, but I am safe. I am looking for support from my peers”;“Today has been really difficult, and I don’t know if I can keep doing this, but I am safe tonight and will reach out to a helpline if I feel I need to”  or; “I am someone who lives with thoughts of suicide each day, but if they get worse tonight I will go for a walk and speak with a friend. I am safe for now” If you aren’t feeling safe, it’s time to log off the forums and access crisis support.    Use safe language:  Our words have power, and it’s important that we use trauma safe language when talking about suicide on the forums. By trauma safe language, we mean language that is not graphic, upsetting or triggering for others to read. This includes staying away from graphic detail including means or plans, and making sure you are clear and direct about your current safety.   Use trigger warnings:  Help other forum members make an informed decision about whether to read on by including a trigger warning.  You might add TW: mentions suicide in your title, or include Trigger warning: mentions thoughts of suicide in the first line of your post.  Avoid mentioning methods of suicide:  Many members of the forums may have experience of suicidal thoughts, feelings or behaviours, and might be triggered, upset or impacted by mentions of methods.   Instead, remove the methods of suicide and replace with more general statements such as “I think about action to end my life”, or “I have had thoughts of methods before”. You can still get your story across without listing the method.    Let the community know what support you are looking for/what you need:  You know what you need best, and letting others know means they can provide more effective support to you when you need it most.     For example:  “I just need someone to sit with me right now”, “I would like some suggestions” or, “I need some distraction”    I often hear Moderators/Peer Workers ask the question “Are you feeling safe for now?”. What does it mean?    If we have reason to believe that you might be thinking about suicide, we will check in to see how you are feeling, and whether you are currently thinking about suicide.  You may hear us ask if you are safe, but safety can mean many things, so let’s define what we mean in the context of suicide.     “Are you safe for now?”:  If we are concerned that you might be thinking about suicide, we will ask you if you are safe for now. What we mean is, are you planning to act on thoughts of suicide now?    "I am safe for now":  If you are safe for now, we will encourage you to reach out and seek peer support through the forums. There are a lot of other people here sitting with thoughts of suicide too who know what it’s like to take steps towards safety.     For many people, thoughts of suicide can be ongoing, so we may ask a few times as safety might change from hour to hour, or day to day. That’s why we say safety for now, as we are trying to understand your immediate safety and offer appropriate support.     This is especially important in public online spaces where we don’t have the same communication options as we would in real life settings.     It can be really helpful to have a safety plan prepared for times when you might have thoughts of suicide, which will help you take steps to seek help or safety. Beyondnow is a great online tool to help you build a safety plan.    "I am not able to stay safe":  If you tell us you are not able to stay safe, we will ask you to confirm if you are planning to end your life and if you have a plan. This will happen off the forums and via email.     If you aren't able to or aren't sure that you can stay safe, this is when it is time to step off the forums and access immediate crisis support. In an emergency, the best place to seek help is to call 000, or go to your local emergency department.     As a mental health service, SANE can be a safe space to share if you are feeling unsafe, and we will get emergency help to you.    As mandatory reporters, if a forum member tells us or indicates that they are in serious and imminent risk of harm, including planning to end their life now, then we do contact emergency services. This is an important part of ensuring the safety and wellbeing of those who access our services.     Mandatory reporting is (as the name suggests) mandatory by law, which ensures that every health service, including SANE, are looking out for the safety and wellbeing of the people we support.      When might Moderators, Community Managers or Peer Support Workers step in?   The SANE Forums team may step in when a post breaches our safety guidelines, and could impact the safety of the person posting or the wellbeing of those reading.     We will remove or edit posts that mention or imply: A person intends to end their life, or doesn’t confirm safety in a way that could be upsetting for those reading. This includes where there are ambiguous mentions or inferences to suicide without confirming safety.  Methods of suicide or self harm  Graphic descriptions    Check out the suggestions earlier in this post to help you stay within the guidelines.  We will email members to:  Check in to see if a member is safe for now and offer referrals to crisis support  Check in with others who may have been upset by something they have read on the forums  Let members know if a post is removed or edited Offer suggestions of how to bring posts back in line with the guidelines  Let a member know if we are involving emergency services, if doing so doesn't put the person at further risk of harm SANE has a responsibility to keep the Forums safe for everyone. This means that there may be times we will need to make tough decisions to remove a post, email you about the guidelines, or pause an account.     If we are concerned about your safety, we want to make sure you have access to crisis services, and we will refer to options such as:  National crisis services such as Lifeline (13 11 14)  and Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467). You can find a list of crisis services at the top of every page on the SANE Forums.  000 in an emergency  SANE’s other support services  Other services specific to your situation (eg: 1800Respect, BlueKnot, Mensline…)   Summary Here are the key points:  It’s important we can talk about topics like suicide and self-harm here on the forums  How we talk about suicide is key to creating safety for the person posting, and those reading  Using safe language, trigger warnings and letting the community know you are safe, and what you need, can help ensure you get the help you deserve, while also looking out for the community  SANE staff may reach out to ask if you are safe and offer referrals to crisis supports. We may also remove posts that breach our safety guidelines around talking about suicide  If you are unsafe and at imminent and serious risk of harm, we are required by law to get emergency help to you  Thanks for reading along folks 😊

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Hobbies and Projects
How To
Welcome! Introduce yourself here 🙂
Daisydreamer

2 days ago

Welcome! Introduce yourself here 🙂

New here? Welcome to the SANE Forums! We are so happy you found us and have joined our wonderful community. There are lots of people here like you, who can understand what you might be going through and offer valuable peer support.     You may see members reaching out to share their stories, asking questions about mental health, looking for others who get it, seeking support and offering support. We hope you find this a supportive and welcoming space to be.    We want to get to know you, and introduce you to other members of the SANE Community.    To get started, you can simply post here by clicking "reply" to introduce yourself and a fun fact or two about you.    Or, you can introduce yourself to the community by starting a new discussion thread! How to do that you ask? Follow the below steps to create your first post.   Click back into the Welcome & Getting Started topic area Click the ‘New Discussion’ Button Type in a subject title Enter your post (there are some helpful tips on how you can introduce yourself below) Then click post! You may see our Peer Support Workers welcoming new members in this space, so please reach out if you have any questions, or if we can help you get started 🙂 We are always happy to help! To reach us, @moderator or email us at team@saneforums.org. We look forward to getting to chatting soon

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Newbie's Social Club - Come make some friends!
Jynx

1 day ago

Newbie's Social Club - Come make some friends!

Hey Forumites!!    This is a space for members new and old, to gather around and help make our newer members feel welcome!    We've all been newbies ourselves at some point, and can empathise with how incredibly daunting it can be entering a new space. A lot of folks have trouble even knowing where to start, and (even though we're in the midst of improving it all) we know the forums can be a tricky space to navigate - which can make it very difficult for newbies to be able to find their footing! On top of that, joining any established community means being 'the new kid on the block', and seeing others connecting easily with established relationships can sometimes feel like we aren't welcome, or that we need to 'break in' to the conversation somehow.    Well this space aims to alleviate that pressure and help facilitate some new connections! Whether you're brand new here or you've been here since the very beginning, you're welcome to come hang out, meet some new people, reconnect with others, and maybe even make a new friend!   We will try to tag new members as they join, so help us make them feel welcome!  Here's today's newest forumites: @noodles1  @IndigOverwhelm  @Sam63  @Sosad01  @jsbpd  @JJll  @Andora  @riotgrrl  @HopeEverlasting  @Bellle    Feel free to tell us a little about yourself, what brought you to the forums, and what you're looking for here!   Tagging in our lovely bunch of Community Guides too! They're seasoned members who volunteer their time and energy towards making the forums a safe and welcoming place for everyone. We wouldn't have the community we do without their efforts and their passion! Feel free to reach out to them, they're always quite happy to help guide and support 😊 @Anastasia @BPDSurvivor @Eve7 @Faith-and-Hope @MDT @Judi9877 @outlander @Shaz51 @Snowie @wellwellwellnez @Zoe7     

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bigtortoise|New Contributor|Last message about 7 hours ago
Limerence and Rejection Sensitivity

Hey, I’m not really sure how to start this but I need to say something. I’m feeling really lost and emotionally drained right now. I’m autistic, have ADHD and BPD, and I’ve been in a bad place mentally for a while. I still get up and go to work every day, but it feels like I’m just going through the motions. I feel empty and tired underneath it all. A few months ago I went on a trip and met someone I really clicked with. We talked heaps after the trip and I started to feel hopeful for the first time in ages. We’re both non-monogamous and I planned a trip to go see him later this year. Partly because I needed a break and partly to spend time with him. Lately though, he’s become really distant. He’s overseas right now and barely replies. I keep trying to message or start conversations but he just leaves me on seen. It’s messing with my head more than I thought it would. I don’t know if I misread everything or if he’s just not interested anymore but didn’t want to say it. It feels awful and I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s brought up a lot. Rejection sensitivity. Feeling like I’m too much or not enough. I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know what I want or what I even like. It’s like I’ve completely lost my sense of self and I’m stuck in this fog I can’t get out of. If anyone has been through something similar or has any advice I’d really appreciate hearing from you. Thanks for reading.

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miniACDC|Contributor|Last message about 9 hours ago
Little did I know

Hi everyone, I was planning to sleep and currently in bed, just needed to clear the noise. 2 weeks ago this morning she shared with me couple of challenges she was had with family members and it was overwelming for her, then on top of that when she found out, i still had not done anything about my little health challenge, she became furious and gave me an ultimatum that she was not pleased at all. After while I was usherd out of the house.A week later, she messaged and wrote, have having tough times with compounding matters in her life over time and i was the straw that broke the camel's back.She needed time and she hoped i understand. I had been with her 21 month minus 2 days on that Saturday.I don't have a switch or filter. We had travelled a journey together for more than 20 months,. I was concerned about her and last week after her message, I had replied, I want to be part of her care plan and recovery journey.I wanted to learn to support her not just in good times, but also in tough times.So silly concerned me, what does he do? send messages to her girls.One Daughter few days  ago, expressing my support for the family and here to help in anyway I can. And today i send another message to the other daughter, pretty much saying the same thing, i am here to help, I feel part of the family and I love their mother. Well I should have known better!1.5 hr later the phone rings, and my beautiful EX partner now! Asking me why I messaging her girls. It didn't really matter what my concern was, that i wanted to be a part of her life, in good times and tough times. She knows how to take care of herself and I was only really thinking what I wanted. You know I hear people saying females get detached while they are still in a relationship, so they have time to come to term with it and men find out by surprise. I am not actually sure if this is true or not and it doesn't make a difference as each scenario is different, however for the past 21 month, specially for the past 2 weeks, all was on my mind how to serve her and make life more comfortable for her ( sure with my flaws and ADHD brain), and specially the last two weeks by the look of it as I was the last person in her life and I added more to her concerns then it seems she needed time to get rid of the one easier to get rid of. I am not sure how I feel right now.I know I would have given my life to make her happy, however at what cost? I am a different person now because knowing her.She was very consistence all along , she showed me by her actions that there were times she didn't want anyone around including me.Her way of dealing with things was solitude and shutting the world down. After a little while I got the message and when she didn't reply for a day or two, I got the picture.I didn't like it, however i had no choice. This is not about bagging her or putting her down. I would have her back in a heart beat. I am in love with her.She found a way to deal with challenges in life and it is her way or the high way. I am by no mean perfect. Being diagnosed recently with ADHD, I am discovering who I have been for others and myself all these many decades. And just this morning I was listening to something that made me realise I get my self worth by pleasing others and trying to make them happy with my standards. When I see her to exchange few items , I am going to thank her for being persistence with her way and standing her ground today with me. This is the kind of realisation and awareness i need to have for my personal self care, and i am sorry to say I could not learn that lesson if she didn't stand her ground and uninvited me to rest of her life. Mind you knowing something doesn't make a difference, it is the application of it that has a potential to elevate one's life. I have been listening to many podcast and the theme has been emotions drives our behaviour.We keep making decisions based on a future outcome.I felt good about myself when I was in her company.I felt good about myself when i did things for her.I felt good about myself, when I was included in her life.I felt good about myself just knowing she was there in my life.And even when those times, interactions and events, got further and further apart, it was the hope for the future outcome that drove me to try harder, do better.She did not and does not need any validation from anyone and I respect her for standing her ground. Mind you, I do wonder why would we ever get into a realtionship, if we never need anything from anyone?What is the point of travelling a journey with someone if we can't include them in our life? Perhaps I am still missing the point. Good night Folks.Love 😥 

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Huggle|New Contributor|Last message about 1 hour ago
Coping with custody changes

Hi all, I have been reading some posts and replied I thought it was best to reach out to see if anyone else is facing similar things. I had a mental health episode, twice in 3 years and wasn't coping with how to manage the costs of living, new living location and lack of work where I could support my daughter. I went into a psychosis from the stress and now live hours away from my youngest child (9) I have agreed to my daughter to live with her father during school terms. I now live with my Mum (77) and we will be moving hours away which places me further away from all my kids (21, 18, 9) The shame and guilt from my poor mental health is difficult. I am adjusting to medications and need to drive 2 hours to a GP. I tried a local Dr but they told me to go back to the other Dr to get a MH plan and repeat prescriptions. All my stuff is in storage hours away also I feel so much shame and guilt for the stress induced episodes that caused my ex to take my child (we had no parental order) and my 21 year old was the one to call him to say I wasn't well. I don't have any resentment towards her and feel guilt she has struggled with MH also. My last relationship (not my kids father thankfully) was emotionally and psychogically abusive and he was dangerous to my mh. I moved us to the city and he then later lost his job and things got worse. I feel so shameful for allowing it to happen again and feel every decision I've ever made is from hope, shame, guilt and trying to afford costs of living.  I regret not being able to make decisions when I was stressed. I can't seem to find others in my shoes where I can find a hopeful story. I hope to find a network of friends through study on campus tafe next year and find work. But being away from my kids permanently is upsetting for me. I know they are ok, and my youngest has better opportunities as he Dads work life balance is easier than mine plus he has money and can give her a better social life too. I had the first 9 years of her life and worked until 11pm for the last 2 years I had her then I struggled for last year to get more than 5hrs work in a new town with not many jobs going around school times I went back to working in a supermarket after my 2023 episode. Stupid me allowed the ex back into our lives but that ended up with me in stress psychosis again. When she left he I had only $100 a week to live on for bills, food, car etc. I lost my mind again as a way to cope and spent time in 2 psych wards in 2 months. 3 weeks all up. In 2023 I spent 3 weeks in psych. 3 different hospitals across the state. I'd like to do peer support in MH but am unsure if the avo against me will stop this so am I wasting my time studying that? Or am I just panicking. I was a youth support worker and I did well had a good turn around with my clients mh issues but couldn't manage my hours as a single parent.I now have debt to slowly pay off and I lost single parent payment, work income and child support. Now I am on jobseeker (medical exempt) and have to move where my Mum is headed which is a slightly warmer climate but still a country town so study and getting outside is all I'm looking forward to. I am looking at community groups to join, tafe I can do on campus and having guilt because usually its the fathers that don't have primary custody. Thanks for readingHuggles

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Sparky79|Senior Contributor|Last message about 10 hours ago
Coping with birthday blues

Hi everyone, just after some tips on surviving birthdays, when it is an anniversary of many painful memories, when it is a time that you reflect on where you were in the past, what you had, what has been lost and where you thought you would be by now.I look back and I'm faced with how bad things are compared to previous birthdays.I don't want to be the focus for the day, I'm not in the place or with the people I want to be with for my birthday.Unfortunately being in the place I long to be is beyond my control, and I am practising patience and doing all I can, all I am allowed to do until I can be there.I want to make happy memories, to overshadow all the bad anniversaries of my birth.I had planned on leaving the house super early and escaping into nature for the day, then returning late at night. To escape being around those whom have played a major part in why things are as bad as they are now.However with the wonders of technology I'm anxious about receiving messages from those in my life that I allowed to cause so much destruction and pain (family) and not receiving messages from those whom I crave to hear from (those I love and care for).I know having expectations of people leaves me open to disappointment and pain, but when those people are your own children and partners it's hard not to have minimal expectations at least. You know the old story of, if you did to them what they did to you, you would be seen as the worst person in the world, but it's fine for them to do it. Previous years have often been me faking being happy, setting a good example to my children, putting my feelings aside, as even though I don't think my birthday is a special day, I accept that to those who care about me, it is a special day. Unfortunately as I've grown older (poorer and more resistant to being used and manipulated) the love shown to me by those that care has been far from caring. For example my youngest (11yr old) was being picked up by her step dad and only wished me a happy birthday for tomorrow after he wished me it.I assumed my children would visit, but I'm not holding my breath on that one. My youngest isn't (due to some children's card game event) hence why she got her mum to drop her off today, so needless to say it was a pleasant surprise, albeit a triggering surprise (I try to forget that she usually visits when she's trying to escape boredom, or doing something she doesn't like, not just to visit). My middle child didn't last year even though his sisters came (I can't even remember the exact excuse, but I know it wasn't anything serious or urgent). 

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Dimity|Senior Contributor|Last message about 8 hours ago
Another MH death in custody

Several issues raised here. Why were police called.The nature of the police response.The need for supports and services including people in public housing. https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2025/jul/19/nsw-police-mental-health-waterloo-ntwnfb?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

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IamMrNobody|New Contributor|Last message about 10 hours ago
How to fill this emptiness in my heart

I dont know why I even bothered

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blue_wren|Contributor|Last message about 16 hours ago
so sad

Hi, I have been deeply deeply sad for so long. Sooooo long. Soooo deep. Bone deep. Marrow deep. I'm exhausted trying and doing 'all the things'. Every day I show up, I try. I don't have the energy to do this anymore, I don't even have the energy to type all the strategies I have and use regularly for your context, just know I have a tool-kit. The last two weeks something has significantly shifted (again) and I don't know the trigger, and I can't put words to it. It's just a deep deep sadness. I've woken up crying. I'm talking to ChatGPT, because I don't have anyone else to speak with. My family don't understand. I've tried grounding exercises and evenTIPP activities this morning and daily tasks like the washing up and making my bed. And still I'm on a loop about how I just want out of this. I'm sat here with my safety plan, and on it is reaching out to places like this. But if I'm really honest, i can feel I'm spiralling and I don't think i can or (or have the will to) control it. I know how serious this sounds, and i feel how serious this feels. Honestly, I can't see any light, even though I'm bathed in sunlight right now, i feel like I'm sitting in an eclipse.  I feel like i need a mental health facility (again), more than a short stay in ED. This wave is too big for even ED to surf.  I don't even know what I hope to get from writing here. Just buying time, and ticking off pieces of my 'plan'. I just want to slip away into the dark

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tyme|Community Lead|Last message about 11 hours ago
Saturday Soiree - 19th July 2025

Welcome to the Saturday Soiree!   Have a GREAT one!   Feel free to share: 1) Goals for this weekend. 2) Something you are grateful for. 3) Something you are good at.  

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MessyBrain|New Contributor|Last message 1 day ago
Lived experience of anxiety medication

Question for those also suffering anxiety... TLDR: At what point did you try medication for anxiety?Obviously, I will talk to my dr about it, I just wanted some lived experience input first...I have been struggling for years but as a kid/teen my parents weren't super supportive of mental health above the bare minimum so I didn't really get good "help".I was doing much better but I feel like I have started doing down hill again. I went completely mute yesterday for around 2 hours and was feeling off, felt the beginning of an attack and was very withdrawn, which was followed by a full anxiety attack/mental breakdown lasting about another hour starting as soon as I was alone.I haven't had a panic attack for MONTHS, I go quiet, but I can get out an answer at least if someone asks me something, at least a bare minimum answer. Pre-attack, I physically couldn't respond more than shaking/nodding my head. I could make myself participate in what I was doing for the first while, then I couldn't even focus or get myself to engage, I try to cover them as much as I can because generally people trying to help just sets me off and makes it worse rather than better...I do acknowledge that during this it was a new environment and my anxiety had spiked in general, I was limited speech when I first arrived but I was warming up really fast and was at full volume speech and starting to start conversations, then the tiniest thing changed, I was fine, then suddenly I just stopped...I've spoken about anxiety medication before in my adult life with medical people but we have always come to the conclusion that it was manageable without and I don't want to be on more than I need to, and deal with side effects of working out doses and medications etc. if I don't have to (I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2021 and started medication which really helped my anxiety once I found a medication and dose that works, but the process was less than ideal). I kind of want to know that some indicators people had that it might be worth trialling anxiety medication or when they decided to start.

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Koop-da_loop|New Contributor|Last message about 8 hours ago
Should I recommend this place to the radically complex?

What is the community consensus on this platform? Is it good to suggest to people who have had heaps of disappointment with other attempts at seeking understanding from institutional style support and struggle finding an in for help?

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