Lived Experience Forum

[LostAngel]

just need to write or type in a safe place,according to counciller Im on a Journey of self discovery,self growth and I have to agrre on that,currently theres different thoughts and feelings on my mind,thinking Im so slow at getting things done,feeling a bit guilty that Im prioritising my needs over others needs,family needs,keep withdrawing socially,whilst on this path Im on,sleep has been all over the place,low motivation to get the important things done,worries about what family members would Judge or think of who Im going with romantically they would probly think not good about him,the fact I assume so much about many things,the part of me that shouldnt need aprooval from those around but still thats somehow what Im seeking,but at the same time Im seeking affection romantically and going by my heart but also my mind with this person I can look past his faults and see the person inside,Ive had family mention I need to build up my self esteem,I have tried to take on peoples advice,the people I didnt expect to go to are becoming my emotional go to"s the need for emotional support yesterday but more a sense of calm today,trying to find that inner kindness and inner understanding that seems a bit out of reach in recent weeks,Im not happy with myself for taking a kind of emotional tantrum yesterday at my age ,emotional regulation is not one of my strong points,maybe Im going through some depression while trying to learn new things,maybe Im kind of in the grey area,or crossroads 

[LostAngel]

feeling frustrated ,obsessed with looking for a second hand car to drive,tired,trying so hard lately ,trying so hard this week in general with multiple life areas,personal,romantic,financial,practical,emotional,keep feeling over it even though I do have family support,emotional support,counselling support still feel frustrated need more hot chocolate,movies,music,snacks and talking to people

[Former-Member]

Does no one come here anymore?

I'm being worn down.

[Shaz51]

Hello and hugs @Former-Member ❤❤

How are you going today  xx 

@Lostandalone , @LostAngel , @Former-Member 

[Sophia1]

Hello I was looking for the worry room and found this one.

@LostAngel 

I believe what you are feeling and struggling with is as you mentioned "crossroads" or a new discovery of self of which you are not familiar with. 

Therapy with a trusted professional helps us find our inner bits and pieces of pain and focus on how we are feeling at the time of discovery. What it is that we are feeling and how we feel affected. 

Basically  bringing buried feelings to the fore and looking at them from how we feel in the now. This opens up new discussion. Thinking and feeling continues to happen in between therapy sessions. This is the hard work.

If we can we have an opportunity to talk about all of that at the next session.

It can feel as though we are not coping; the therapy is not working; it is our fault or the therapists.

Continuing to work through our feelings can definitely help some of us.

We also have to bear in mind that at the same time we are also dealing with whatever life is currently throwing at us.

For many of us this usually involves at least one relative sadly.

I hope that you are feeling some sense of progress and achievement. 

I am certainly not saying that it is easy in the least; quite the opposite.

It takes strength, courage, determination and pride.

I believe that you are strong, courageous, determined and hope that you will be proud for all of your hard work so far.

I landed in this worry room to vent about the system which I seem to be continually having problems with.

I was going to write about two latest unrelated incidents and now cannot be bothered.

Let someone else deal with it.

Good luck all on here.

Sophia

[LostAngel]

thank you @Shaz51 for checking in

[LostAngel]

Last Night again you came to me in the darkness of the night,you absolutely gave me a good time even better than good,you blew my mind with how attentive,caring and spontaneous that you where here we where again in our secret world ,nothing but you and me and our imaginations,you where so attentive we spent such a great amount of time together,meeting eachothers needs,taking our time,hugs and kisses,reasurance,aprooval,warmth of body and soul and mind,freedom again to explore who we are and we are connected, and following on from this  post a while ago Ill continue by saying I Want you I need you is it crazy to say I love you,our intamacy level has grown considerablely over time Im kind of pinching myself as to how we met,I want you and only you,my man,my lover,my empathetic equal,dam how did we meet? how did we find eachother in this crazy time of life? your amazing,my man,my considerate caring man,so risky and unexpected but also so good to me.

[ChelseaFox04]

I’m in another hyper aroused episode atm. This time it’s linked to my 60th birthday and setting a boundary with my narcissistic mother. Saw my psychiatrist who prescribed casual use of an anti psychotic but when I took it I felt like I’d mixed drugs with booze so i won’t be making it a habit.

I’ve cancelled plans for tomorrow and will be  taking a self care day . Must remember not to take on as much.  Pressure when I’m hyper aroused is counter productive and exacerbates  anxiety and arousal. 

[ChelseaFox04]

Hang in there little Angela. I love you and will be there for you. I’m your inner loving parent who will never abandon you. I’ll be there for you to your dying breathe. I’m here for you. Always xoxo 

[LostAngel]

feeling anxcious,a few worries on my mind,took my meds earlier than usual,there was a bit of stress today,turned to comfort eating a bit,Im putting a bit of pressure on myself to be doing things,to be keeping busy and motivated ,thinking about the recent past,still putting off doing certain things ,feeling a bit tired tonight,tried watching a movie but couldnt distract myself enough,tired of talking to people by message,prefer talking by phone,but out of practice with talking by phone,need to find a way to relax,unwind