Exo's Exposé

[Appleblossom]

Hey @Exoplanet 

Good to hear back from you.

I have never experienced what you are coping with, not being able to breathe properly.  I can imagine you want to get camping again and walking with the dogs, but to me it is beautiful that being with you is more important for your staffie, than going for a walk.  

I have felt similarly about the overseas call to some family members being more important than keeping family together.  It sadly, has become the way of the world.  Do not let it get to you.  Treasure your staffie moments.  Good thinking about the stool.  I do hope the nurse can organise more help soon.

My trip was by public transport. I left car at local station went to CBD then regional.  A lady in a little buggy came and picked us up to take us from a train to a bus half way.  It was very different in style to what you do.  I stayed at a motel a block from the station, and all the concerts in the festival were within a few blocks so easy walking.  I think it was the fact that you just did it, going away, that inspired me to do my version of a little holiday leaving Fri and returning Monday and my car was still at the station! It is pretty beat up, if someone stole it they would be desperate...lol.  For me it is very peaceful travelling overland and looking out the window, or reading and jotting notes.  It removed a lot of the stress and left a little adventure but a walkable one, dragging my little case on wheels.  Just the right level for me.  

The music festival was help at a church with a lovely organ and a stately home renovated by the rector, which was wonderfully quirky and had a lovely garden.  The ballroom had an organ, harpsichord, harmonium and grand piano.  There were great pianists, violinists and cello and double bass.  A silly conductor I knew played a drum set with a beat box on the final dinner kind of cabaret style, which had all styles of music.  In the church were 3 real sheep while we listened to a Bach piece "While sheep safely graze."  Not sure what you think of the music but it was beautiful and calming to be saturated in it for 2 1/2 days. Celebrating live music in the regions by top performers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83oc3qc1SBg 

I love @Sophia1 's picture too.

[Exoplanet]

I'm pretty crook, again; I guess it's got something to do with the fluid building up in the lining of my lung, though I don't really understand how my lungs are making me sick - I'm going to make an appt with the Dr, when I see them I'll ask. I'm still reeling with how long it takes to get help, it's been 6 months & I still don't have a diagnosis & I've been sick for that amount of time. The Dr's aren't saying anything, they're not saying it's good, they're not saying it could be this or that & they're not saying it's cancer . . . they're not saying anything. They've handed me some anti-nausea pills, they've prescribed me pain medication, but they haven't said anything about what's causing the fluid or the sickness. I think I'm going mad.

[Sophia1]

So very sorry that I missed your post.

I have been away and absent from the forums.

I am in a total mess and in no state to offer any effective words of support.

I can only say again that I care about you greatly and it hurts me to read of your struggles.

I truly hope that you get help that you so much deserve and need.

Sorry

have to go

take care

Sophia1

[Faith-and-Hope]

That really sucks @Exoplanet.  It’s invalidating to get no feedback at all.  I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through, but glad that you are still posting about it.  It gives us the opportunity to sit with you in this space, and uplift you in our thoughts and care for you.  Sending virtual hugs across the digital airwaves …. 💐💕

[Sophia1]

a quick reply from me @Exoplanet 

I know is unheard of  from me

"quick"

You are not bringing me down nor have you ever or ever will

I am already really struggling with life's throw ups.

Sending wishes of feeling better straight back that much I hope I can do effectively as you so deserve them

will write to you when I am more grounded as am all over the place.

I need to write to a few others who have been so kind also

please please please know how much everyone holds you here

Sophia1

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Exoplanet 

Any medical update on your condition ?  Still sitting with you ….. ❤️

[Exoplanet]

I'm going to the telehealth with the respiratory Doctor today, I had the xray yesterday & the radiologist said she thought there was enough fluid for them to do the biopsy . . . today I find out if the Doctor thinks there's enough there. I'm dreading the doctor saying I'll have to wait another month, the fluid makes a nasty pressure feeling on the right side of my chest, like a half wrap; I can't walk very far because I just can't get enough breath & there's constant nausea that leads to vomiting. I have 2 nausea medications now, but the stronger one only has 4 pills in a box - then I have to go & get another prescription. I have an infection under my right armpit, the doctor thinks it might be an ingrown hair, I've had ingrown hairs before & I've never seen anything like this on my body . . . except for my belly button - it looks like I have an armpit button! 

Thank you so much for responding @Sophia1   @Faith-and-Hope 

I'm pretty scattered at the moment too Sophia, I completely understand. I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time. I think sometimes falling apart is the only thing you can do, it's like the pieces get so jumbled they've got to tumble, so you've got half a chance of picking them back up with any sort of organization. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

❤️ @Exoplanet 

💐 @Sophia1 

[Exoplanet]

I go for my biopsy on Tuesday. I'm very angry at my sister, she told me to just make the appointment & no matter what, she'd be there . . . she can't be there {well, she did say if I really needed her there, she would do it, but made it very obvious that she didn't want to be}. I'm really very anxious about this procedure, as it's going to be more painful than the last one . . . & she knows that. I really think she's just putting me in the 'too hard basket', she doesn't want to face the reality of my health issues so she is backing away as quickly as she can, to make a decent run for it. I mean she booked a holiday to England mid next year, when I will likely be very sick {if I'm still here}, I find that the opposite of supportive, I feel like she is abandoning me. She's even suggested that my other sister could help me now, a sister we've both had a huge falling out with & both of us are only just starting to talk to her again. I just really feel like it's all gotten too hard for her & she's dropping me like a hot potato. 

I have no-one to help me through this stage of my life.

[Former-Member]

Gosh, you've been going through so much physical discomfort and uncertainty @Exoplanet ❤️ I'm so glad you continue sharing with us and giving us the opportunity to sit with you in it. 

I'm sorry you are feeling so dismissed and abandoned by your sister through such a tough time. I can imagine the whole process might feel quite isolating in itself. I know its no where near the same, but we care about you and we are here with you 🌻