Exo's Exposé

[Exoplanet]

@Former-Member 

I missed the Lonliness in small communities Topic, as I was away camping - a good thing, & I haven't really missed it, it's still there for me to read, though I don't seem to be able to add to it now. I think all of the questions have been answered extremely well, I'll probably just repeat the same things, but I guess I just want to feel involved?

What are some of the major challenges you find in living in a smaller community whilst managing the symptoms of mental illness?

Finding professional services & the lack of choices in those services. The distances needed to be travelled to other services. The lack of support. For me, the distances from home, the only place I feel any measure of safety. Difficulties in communication, to be able to reach out on the occasions that I may feel I want to. The feeling of being rejected by the local community. The feeling of having to be able to perform in a particular way to be accepted; like how you dress & talk & even the kind of confidence
you can show. I think in smaller communities, once you are rejected, you are alone; even if there are individuals that might want to be kinder, they have to conform with the decisions of the group as a whole or they will be rejected too.

Does lack of employment influence our social interaction in smaller communities? Do you find limited job opportunities an issue or not so much?

I'm past the point of even contemplating work, but yes I think it's a huge influence on social interactions. I did work for years at a local establishment & was treated a lot differently, I was more accepted. When my mental health challenges got harder & I left that employment, it was like my defining fall from grace. Just being unemployed seems to be a reason for being rejected, all of a sudden, that's why you are pretending to have issues.

What are some ways of connecting with like-minded peers in regional areas?

I can't really answer this one, I've been here about 2 decades & I haven't managed to do so. Even when I was working I didn't establish any friendships. I was still to 'different'. I'd say the internet, though it's not just for regional areas . . . it works in all areas. In particular this SANE site 🙂

What are some other ways we can exercise self-compassion when we are going through a lonely period?

I don't really know, I guess just accepting that we are Human & that all people have faults - nobody is perfect. That it is actually quite common to have things that are out of your control & loneliness is just one of those things. Maybe contemplating the fact that everything changes, nothing stays the same - & although there's no guarantees, there's always the chance that your loneliness will end. Mine did, when I found this site 🙂

What are the positives of being involved with a smaller community? Gimme' your wonderful insights!

For me, hands down, it's the smaller population - less people; less people in a much larger area - more space! There is nowhere from my home that I see another person or building or man-made object {apart from my fences, which I'm very appreciative of 🙂 } There's less noise, less light - more nature, more wildlife. I choose to live where I do, I'm aware that with a smaller population there will be less services & less options . . . I think it's all completely worth it!

[Jigsaw]

@Exoplanet Thank you for the kind words. if you dont mind me asking what made you think I have a new van? I dont own a van, maybe you have confused me with someone else here on the forum. Anyway glad you had a good trip and made the most of it sounds like the weather was a bit challenging, I liked your photo's it looks a lovely place.

[Exoplanet]

Sorry I got things mixed up @Jigsaw , I have a group of friends here & I don't often 'talk' to others. One of my friends invited me into a conversation with someone else & I got things confused. I thank you for your support & positivity 

[Appleblossom]

@Exoplanet I have often thought ... the "why do I do it" ... about my musical things, my garden and my relationship style ...

Its usually about effort and doubting positive outcome.

I hope your memory bank overflows with good warm fuzzy memories.  and laughter at the oopsies ... of wrong turns and soggy blankets ... 

Despite them, maybe becasue of them you are still inspiring.

I have a sense of the level of your isolation and think you are incredibly brave.

Hugz hugz hugz

I think it was me who "introduced you: to @Former-Member who has the new van. 

It can get hard with lots of people, but with good will we seem to have a community here which gives and supports many people.

[Jigsaw]

@Exoplanet  Thats ok not really needed but I appriciate your apology, I can get a bit paranoid and it triggered me, all good.

[Exoplanet]

I got up this morning & put my summer long sleeved dressing gown on, after wandering into the bathroom & then into the kitchen for a cuppa . . . I went & got my winter one!!! . . . & a pair of velvet jiffies 😄 The temperature is wonderful 🙂 I didn't use the fan yesterday, although not constant & not as heavy as the beach - it rained on & off all day, enough that I have puddles in the driveway & I have a Dam Puddle!!! It seems I timed my trip away perfectly for {yes I'm going to say it again} the change of the season. I did have to use the fan the day I got back & the next {I think, I can't remember how many days I've been back now} But I don't even have a battery in the bedroom for a fan at night & I haven't needed it 🙂 In fact I put a light quilt on the bed last night {my favourite blanket is drying out on the line} & I pulled it up not long after I hopped in!  My body's feeling a lot better, to say I was a bit achey is a bit of an understatement, the clickin' & clackin' has quietened up a lot too. I managed to get my Daughter to respond to a text while I was away, I think she's really struggling. She's seeing a Doctor & asked what my diagnoses was, I don't think much of the titles & mine are pretty average, basically depression, anxiety & annorexia; but I had one doctor get all excited when they told me they thought I suffed disassociation disorder, when I looked it up that did seem to describe what I go through the best. It's like it's not me, I'm watching a movie of someone else, I wonder if that's why the memories fade so quickly, because they don't feel like mine. Like the camp trips, they don't feel real, as if I'd made them up, like a story. I don't know how else to explain it. I hope it helped her, she hasn't said what happened, just that there was drama & she hasn't coped well. She did say that both her & my eldest grand daughter have been diagnosed with disassociation. I hope to continue tackling the camp gear today, as the stuff on the line dries I'll pack it away & then put the case away; then I can begin on the kitchen case & the general camp gear crate. Bit by bit it'll all dissapear from my lounge room floor, I think my fear is it'll make the memory dissapear with it. 

Love to all that need or want it 

Mazy  @Mazarita  @eth  @outlander  @CheerBear  @Zoe7  @Appleblossom  @Shaz51  @Bunniekins  @Teej  @Faith-and-Hope  @Sophia1 

[Appleblossom]

Yep winter gown and ugg boots on here.

@Exoplanet Chat to your pups about good memories, that might keep them alive longer.

Know what you mean about dissociation PLUS the limits of labels.

Sorry your daughter is having a hard time.  

[Faith-and-Hope]

💜🌷 @Exoplanet ☕️

[outlander]

@Exoplanet 💛🧡

[Zoe7]

Hopefully the memories of your trip don't all disappear @Exoplanet and if you find they are then you can read back on your posts here to revisit the good times while you were away.