Lived Experience Forum

[Horsegirl75]

My foster daughter of 4 years was recently returned to her mother. I’m glad the family is back together but I miss my little girl so much and I worry about her every day. How am I going to get through this? 

[tyme]

Hi @Horsegirl75 ,

Thank you for posting. 

I hear how much you love and miss your little girl, and it is very natural to have these feelings of loss and grief. These are very valid feelings and sounds like it's a natural part of grief.

Allow yourself to grieve. Know that you've made a difference to a child's life. 

Some families allow there to be continued contact after returning to their family - would this be possible in your case?

You have done a great thing. You have reached out to help a young one.

Hold that close to you.

Allow yourself to process this grief. 

We are here to support you.

tyme

[8ppleTree]

Hello @Horsegirl75 

Thank you for loving and caring for this little girl. Every bit of kindness in life makes a difference!  If appropriate, you could write to her, or offer to catch up every so often? If not, please know that it's ok to cry. The hardest part of loving is letting go and hoping. That is a brave heart 🩵 

I was very lucky to have a beautiful foster carer as a child. I only spent a few months with her, but the love and safety were so evident, that I held onto that love throughout my life. I asked her to be at my wedding! Love is not wasted, although it can hold us raw at times. Hold onto the good memories and have faith that you've offered something really worthwhile, as best as you could. Take care of yourself x 

P.S. I'm not sure what state you're in, but The Foster Care Association of Victoria  FCAV have some links to support resources, too, and may be able to provide you with some direct care for your area. 

Sane also have a support line you can call if you ever feel like a chat on: 1800 187 263 (10AM - 8PM).