@Former-Member
I did not mean to diss the YANA pages. They are clear and to the point and not cloaked in endless euphemisms which made it very hard in the past. It was just I must have been very vulnerable at the time of reading, and my psyche jumped to a dangerous place. I cannot always predict how resilient or vulnerable I will be in any moment. Sometimes I know and put psychological protective measures in place, but often I am caught unawares.
@SmcYour caring journey has been long and serious. Something about your daughter's responses of taking on other's illnesses strikes a chord with me and the many issues around empathy, being sensitive and knowing how to manage vicarious trauma, and distinguishing what is one's own story, creating personal identity, and learning where boundaries lie. I send you both strong prayers of support. I also have phone ringing nightmares and being unsure whether it was true or not. In that, the tech ability to check these days, is useful.
Regarding crises and continual community support and engagement. In some ways we have come a ways from the 70s and the so called "deinstitutionalisation" period, but in some ways the reduction of services to "crises mentalities" and the overuse of police and emergency wards is not appropriate for good long term mental health practices.
I have also seen it in many posts on the forum, this refusal to provide help or service because people are not "sick" enough, yet obviously in need. I believe Continuous Care Centres rather than the "chronic" label could be set up and funded better than the inappropriate ED protocols. That said there are many improvements with understandings of neuroscience and trauma informed care, but the trick seems to be the APPLICATION.
Dear @eth your story about your attempt and the 10 days in coma is YOUR story and you know it better than anyone. I respect it. How to move forward is your miracle and I have learned as I watched you grow in confidence. Memories of past events can become hazy and confusing. I hope you and your brother find a peaceful path through with your discussions about the past. It is probably the type of difficult conversation that needs to happen, and is a sign that you both care about each other.
In some ways I relate strongly to your brother as I spent 15 years in the role of managing crises which included hospitalisations etc. I initiated calls to services once, so mostly it was all out of hands. I also have tried to get documentation, but a lot of it has dissppeared or been redacted. I am finally getting to the stage that official sources may give some sense of certainty, but are not GOD, in that there are errors on files and I have since seen many things put on files that are totally up the creek. So I just have to take it all with a grain of salt and proceed the best I can. But no idea or a chaotic mess of memories is not a good way to navigate the social and emotional worlds. A little clarity is better than nothing.
Thanks @Former-Member and @Windflowers It's good to hear that some of what I've done and am doing can be helpful for others. That's all I hope for here. I found it helpful today to write so much here and elsewhere including journalling offline. @Windflowers mostly the times I've been away were when I was travelling without my computer and when I moved here and couldn't get the forums to work on my new laptop for some months. So not entirely by choice. Having been around for so long there were some close friends who I could pick up where we left off with and didn't need to tell my story in detail again. We really do form strong bonds here over time. Also some shorter periods where I just needed to not spend so much time online in order to get my own mh priorities in order after months of 'going down the rabbit hole' and being here many hours a day. People here are always very understanding when they realize your absence is for self-care reasons, and very welcoming when you return. There is no pressure on any of us to be here constantly.
@Former-Member I too have side effects (I call them undesired effects) of some of my meds. Mainly weight gain and extreme constipation. But my Dr's have found a couple of other meds that help with those things, including one to improve my insulin response and a supplement made from psyllium fibre. I do at times feel like I'm fairly rattling with the number of things I have to take daily, but recognize that they are keeping me more stable than I've ever been before. One of those benefits outweighing the negatives situations. I hope your hubby is weaning off gently and has medical supervision while he does it. It does sound like monitoring through charts would be helpful. This is a good one : https://www.bipolar-lives.com/bipolar-mood-chart.html
It can work well for other conditions too, not just bipolar. And the top section gives an at-a-glance view of any trends for better or worse. Both my psychiatrist and psychologist find it beneficial too.
