Step Sister Abuse

[saberur66]

Hi,

I have a step sister who is 30 years old (i am currently 23), who is not only verbally abusive but emotionally and physically as well. My father and her mother have failed to come to turns with her state of being in her younger years and failed to provide proper support, she they have now just stopped caring how she treats people and say that she is too old for them to do anything to help her. When i was in uni, she lived at my fathers house after he was divorced from my mother, and when i would return home she would be abusive, to the point where i would have to leave right when i arrive because she was so horrible (i stopped coming back as freqeuntly due to that). I moved back home after uni in order to save money and she was forced to move out after the police had to be called when she started to through my things out, and set her dog to attack me. Her parents refuse to do anything about it, and contuinly force me to have "sit downs" where she apologizes to me and is told their will be consequences if she acts out again. she leaves knowing her parents either forgave her or realize she wont be punished. What do I do? she contuines to come to her fathers house where i live (and wont be able to leave for while due to financial situations), and abuse and harass me. My father is friends with the police, so when i have tried to get them to arrest her, they release her due to my father asking them to. 

[Artaud]

Dear Saberur66,

Welcome to the forum. I am Artaud one of the moderators. I hope you find this forum to be very helpful and a place you can get some supports. Please feel free to become involved in the forum and  I hope other contributors can be helpful to some of the issues you face.

Artaud

[Appleblossom]

Hello @saberur66 

There are a few people under 30 on the forums who can share different things with you.

Unfotunately I have seen some some very bad step sibling behaviours, along with parents who allow it. The behaviours can be entrenched and very destructive. It is terrible what you have experienced, especially as you are 7 years younger and had to deal with it all throughout childhood.

It seems unfair, but I would safeguard all your things.  Usually locks on doors inside are not good, but if you are living there for a while, it may be worth it.  Also it sends a clear message.  

Change is unlikely now, so make good plans for your future well being.

[Sophie1]

@saberur66 I’m not experienced in your situation however I believe everyone has a right to feel safe where they live and work - it is not ok for you to be afraid of abuse - please keep reaching out to find options or choices that will move you into a situation that is safe for you - everyone deserves to be safe - I hope you will soon a path to safety 

[Former-Member]

Hi @saberur66 

I'm sorry to hear about your situation with your sister. As @Sophie1 said, no-one deserves to feel unsafe - especially, in their own home! Additionally, as @Appleblossom said, significant or longer-term change may be hard now. in this vein, what do you think is within your capacity to make things better for yourself in the meanwhile, given your financial situation?

Hoping things start to improve for you!

Kindest Regards,

Amour_Et_Psyché

[Charlie16]

I am really sorry to hear what you have been going through and can relate somewhat. I am a parent of a daughter with recently diagnosed BDP (18yrs old). She left home on a whim 10mths ago but we have not allowed her home due to the abuse we have all endured (myself, my husband and her 16yr siblings). The break has been good but she is putting pressure on to come home. But if i allow her, my twins will leave. Such a difficult situation. I look back sometimes thinking i hope they don't think that i didn't protect them enough from my unwell daughter. Over time I have learnt to redefine boundaries. I have also told my children that if she turns up and is abusive, call the police. We have stopped short of charging her with offences, but we have come very close. It must be so frustrating to not feel the support of the police. Whilst you shouldn't have to leave, I can't help but think it is the safest option for you, but appreciate how hard that is when finances are tight. I am glad that you have found this forum and I hope we can all support you as best we can. I would also encourage you to seek support from a professional, if for nothing else but learning how to protect yourself, address the trauma you have experienced and learn the art of self care.