My elephant in the room - Dependent Personality Disorder

[MargeS1980]

Wow! I really like your comment and it struck a personal chord with me as I too refer to the elephant in the room. And a great quote i heard along the way asked "How do you eat an elephant? "
"One bite at a time"
Although at times this principle can be hard to apply it is a helpful metaphor

[Daisy2]

Omg I didn't even know there was such a thing as DPD. I thought I was just a sook! I hate being alone and can never make decisions about even the simplest of tasks. I keep having mini breakdowns and depressive episodes . I have just quit my job due to anxiety and have just realised today that work is a huge part of my joy! I'm trying to
Learn how to like my own company but at least I know there is a place like this to ask questions and get unjudgmental support.

[Former-Member]

Gosh @ Teej..gee you have clearly been through much. I can identify with what you say. It rather horrified me tonight that my return home, I'll slip back..to feeling suffocated. I can see I was loosing me. Then I'm mad, why do people want to take our personality away? Maybe I'm wrong. I know rationally no one person can do that. But I think in order to be with others we loose ourselves don't we? It's letting go, to trust...I'm a little uncertain sometimes of that whole equation! Then I grow tired. I'm feeling more energized. I just don't want t enter that 'real' tiredness.. tomorrow hopefully I can shed better light. I'm obviously onto something. Of what, I'm not yet sure what that is!! Wishing you kind thoughts tonight ❤

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member, just looking for you, wondering how you are, and your family. Those boys? Your mood? Psychs? Thanks for saying hi yesterday, I slumped re mother trigget, but picked up a bit today (only 48hrs thank goodness) Really getting determined, fighting to stay focused to clean up here. Its like pushing a cement truck uphill, with flat wheel

@Daisy2, liking your own company, being your own best friend... Being comfe in your own skin (as f&h says), its taken me a small lifetime to really learn. Good-on-ya! Bk "the happiness trap" hilighted this, helped me see.

@Former-Member, hello. Being with others doesn't have to be letting go of who you are, I think you need to be true to yourself, stay together on the inside, lean back, take a breath & smile. People prefer relaxed people. Still learning this.

[Former-Member]

OK, @Former-Member, see you're in hospital, I'm glad, and hope it helps. Be honest with them, enjoy the break from the kitchen, different people around, maybe change in meds. Going home will be a hurdle but you are loved there, if you feel it or not. Proud of you for stepping up 🙂

[Former-Member]

Did I just say I'm glad you're in hospital?
Oh dear - You know what I mean
☆.´ `. ღ
(͡๏̯͡๏)
( , , )
**´

[Decadian]

Hi @Former-Member

---

@leia wrote:
. It rather horrified me tonight that my return home, I'll slip back..to feeling suffocated. I can see I was loosing me. Then I'm mad, why do people want to take our personality away? -  no one person can do that. But I think in order to be with others we loose ourselves don't we?

---

It's scary to imagine ourselves slipping away under the pressure of other people wanting us to conform in some way - terrifying actually

When we actively and even successfully change ourselves for the better a lot of other people in our lives want us back the way we were - and this is possibly because they just knew and understood us better that way but also - it can be terrifying having this change take place - and those people want us back where they have some kind of control over us and feel better than us

Strange - but that's the way it is

Also Carl Jung wrote about the Human Collective Unconscious - and it is easier for us to find who we are alone - when we are in a group -  we do tend to confine ourselves to the group's definition of itself and it is harder to maintain our indiviuality

I have spent a lot of my life alone and it is not scary for me to be alone - uncomfortable at time but definitely preferable to having other people around and having to conform to the time-table of life being imposed

So when you do get back home - keep the idea you have found and do you best to live up to that image and I suppose when you are around other people you can keep that idea to yourself as you find new ways to fit in

I wish you the best with that - it can be really hard to maintain our self-image when other people were so comfortable with the discomfort of the way you used to be

Hugs

Decadian

[Former-Member]

❤ @Decadian. So true, your words are wise. Thank you.😜 I hope you have a lovely day.x

[Former-Member]

❤✅ @tawny. So true. Thank you. I think people have often said I'm a cruisy person, but at times I'm also fitting in. It's come to a point whereby that's not authentic enough. I'm feeling bolder. In a broader sense I want to be me as my eldest knows me. We spent a good 3 years together being spontaneous. That's me. I have a partner that creates more balance for us now. It's finding a line where that doesn't become rigid though! 😁 I think in the end our true essence seeps through ha,ha...wishing you a lovely day. It's very windy!!!! 🙈

[Former-Member]

This is what's biting the hardest I think @Faith-and-Hope. Been a while since I've been here but I think this is my nemesis at the moment. It's leaving huge bruises and suffocating me.