My special place

[Snowie]

So just got a call from the out patient part of the hospital I was in earlier this year. They were the ones that set up the Support Worker.

So after everything that I went through with him, I got told today that he has retired (he didn't look that old either).

No respect to message me himself letting me know. When I saw him last, I'm sure he would have known then too. I know he would have had to let all of his clients know, but there is a thing as a group message. At most, it might take 10 mins to organise and send through. Yes he wasn't great at turning up and I had issues, but at least it was someone I could talk to between my psych appointments. It was that bit of extra support.

So now my pdoc has to put in a new referral so they can designate me another SW. The lady on the phone asked if I was willing to drive closer to the city so they can assign one to me. She isn't sure that someone would come to me since I am rural.

Maybe I should look at the positive. I might get someone better who I can form a relationship with. This new person might actually show up when they say they are going to.

But right now it is a negative mindset. Someone else that has given up on me. Someone else I put my trust in to and they are gone. Another example of being disadvantaged because of where I live. 

Sometimes I just don't see the point in life. You try, you trust, you reach out and it doesn't seem to matter.

Sorry, rant over. Thanks if you got this far.

[Ru-bee]

Hey @Snowie that is really disappointing and the continued lack of communication on behalf of this SW shows a lack of respect or care in their work so maybe it really was time for them to retire.

I understand how it's easy to focus on the negatives and maybe it's okay if you take some time to feel these negative feelings and allow them some space, but I hope that in time you're able to see more of these potential positives. And I really hope that you get matched up with a fantastic SW who you connect with. I'll be keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you

[Snowie]

Hi @Ru-bee 

Thanks for your reply.

I felt sorry for the lady who had to call me. Imagine making the same phone call to everyone on his list, especially since the news was out of the blue.

Not sure if I am angry or upset, or maybe both.

I just don't need this. Not with everything else going on. I just want to disappear. 

[Ru-bee]

Yeah I know this is the last thing you need right now @Snowie there's a lot going on for you at the moment

I just want to check on that feeling of wanting to disappear - are you feeling safe at the moment?

[Snowie]

I'm safe @Ru-bee 

The thoughts are there. They are loud and strong but no intent. I know I can ring if things turn down that path.

[Ru-bee]

Thanks for letting me know @Snowie 

What's on for this evening? Do you have anything nice to do or watch that you can distract yourself with?

[Snowie]

Not much on this evening @Ru-bee 

Will probably take my normal meds with prn to try and get some sleep.

Just watching the Olympics. I don't mind watching it. It can get a bit repetitive during the day at times.

[Ru-bee]

I've been watching the Olympics too @Snowie I like having the background noise and sometimes I do really get engaged with what's going on.

Did you watch the gymnastics the other night when everyone kept falling?

I'm just heading off now, I hope you have a restful evening

[Snowie]

The background noise is good @Ru-bee I don't cope well with silence. Even going to sleep I have either the tv on or some white noise coming from my phone.

I did see the gymnastics. A bit of 'last one standing'.

I hope your night goes well. Thank you

[rav3n]

hey @Snowie that message from earlier was for you but i posted it on the wrong thread oops!

love background noise too - i used to put rain sounds on my laptop to help me fall asleep.

do you have anything that you're looking forward to this week? 😊