Not Coping

[ENKELI]

Lol my fat fingers, should be every happiness 😊

[creative_writer]

@ENKELI I’m better but nights aren’t my best. Glad you are loving your job, what kind of job are you doing. I feel like I’ve forgotten. 💖

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 did it take you a while to get to sleep so early last night?

I can imagine you'd be tired, a complete change from your normal sleep routine. 

What's been happening?

I had a quiet Mother's day, we were supposed to go out for lunch but I put my back out so we had to cancel. We're going to do it this coming weekend instead.

Have you been reading any new books?

Still watching Revenge?

I've got a bit of a headache but have just taken some panadeine so it should be gone soon. I have to stop slouching in my chair at work 🤪

[Birdofparadise8]

Maybe half an hour, but I had sleep meds to help @ENKELI 

Yeah, I would say 10 pm to 5:45, but I am tired even if I sleep until 8 am. I'm always tired, so I hope I don't have sleep apnea. 

I have just been doing some uni work and trying to change my uni course to a double degree and add a bachelor of science (biochem), and I will have to learn calculus, so that is scary. 

I called me on Mother's Day and got to see her with the book I got her. 

I have finished revenge. I'm onto Alex rider season three. 

I am still reading Pucking Around, but I haven't read it for a bit since I've been busy with uni. 

Oh, I hope your back and your headache will get better. 

I missed you on the chat on Sunday. I hope you can make the next one. Are you okay with what happened over the weekend? I'm so sorry what happened. 

[ENKELI]

@creative_writer lol, probably not forgotten, more likely I forgot to say!

I'm working for a transport company again but this company runs rings around the last place where I was pushed into resigning due to bullying and any threats.

I think I mentioned to others that I had laughed more in the first 5 days of being there than I did in 2 years at the other place.

The only time HR ever spoke to me was to tell me how bad of a worker I was. Today at my new workplace I was called in to see the HR manager - he apologised that I'd had to work such long hours. I was amazed! I told him that I was staying until I retired or they turfed me out and he said he wouldn't let me retire. 

I wish everyone had a workplace like mine!

Why is it that we are always the most vulnerable at night? Is there anything I can do to help? Where are you again, is it Melbourne? Sorry gorgeous, I know you've told me before but my old brain fogs a lot these days.

I hope you find some comfort from the night time blues, it seems to go hand in hand with depression and mental illnesses 🥰💐

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 that's strange that you're always tired. I truly hope the sleep study benefits you so you start getting a refreshing sleep and are not so tired all the time. Do you have any symptoms of chronic fatigue? A few years ago I contracted a virus that made my joints ache and I was always tired. My dr thought it may have led to chronic fatigue as it took nearly 12 months to recover. Fortunately I did recover but my dr never was able to work out what was wrong with me. 

I'll keep you in my prayers that you get to sleep better and are not so tired.

Is Alex Rider on Netflix or Disney+? I just read the synopsis and it sounds interesting. 

I'm good with what happened on the weekend. I think we both took things the wrong way, I was super sensitive and over reacted. I was disappointed in myself that I hurt arra's feelings and that he thought I was talking about him but it's water under the bridge now.

🥰💐👸

[Birdofparadise8]

Yeah, I know, so weird @ENKELI 

Hmm, no, I would look at the symptoms of chronic fatigue. 

Thank you, that is very kind of you. It's on Prime. 

That's good @ENKELI 

I was so sad to know how upset you were. I've been thinking about you to hope that you're okay. 

Is that why you didn't join the chat on Sunday? 

I have uni in the morning, and then I see my psychologist at the usual time. 

I'm so happy work is going well for you. 

[creative_writer]

@ENKELI that sounds amazing, happy to hear you’ve found a supportive workplace, it makes a huge difference. Those shitty workplaces really do have an effect on wellbeing, I was initially allocated a rough placement last year before I was moved to a better one. Sometimes we need to experience the difference to know what it means to be in a good workplace.

I’m in Melbourne. I don’t think the short days work well for me. I don’t think long days do as well. Daylight savings makes everything confusing. I have less to do at night, less distractions so rumination feels more natural. I am exhausted by the end of the day too. I have no caffeine to get me through the night or I won’t sleep. It sort of relaxes me in moderation. Migraines also tend to be worse, again can’t have caffeine and that helps the pain

[ENKELI]

@creative_writer I'm glad you got a better placement, as you said, a supportive work environment makes so much difference. 

I'm so sorry you have such a hard time, migraines are definitely not fun. I count myself lucky I've never suffered from migraines but I remember a workmate telling me his wife suffered and he said she would be crying the pain was so bad. I truly feel for you. 

Do you have a support network to help you? 

It really isn't fair that some of us have to suffer so much, ie yourself and others who have no idea what real depression and pain is like complain about minor things. 

You are such a caring soul, I can only hope and pray your health improves each day. Much love and hugs💕💐

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 I took some strong pain meds for my back and was dozing on and off most of the afternoon. By the time I remembered the chat it was 7pm here and I thought it had probably finished. 

Chronic fatigue symptoms include tiredness, joint pain, brain fog and flu like symptoms. 

Darn, I don't have Prime. And I'm not getting it! Lol I decided to keep Disney+ for the time being and Netflix is billed through Foxtel so I don't notice the bill so much! I need to start saving for a holiday to Singapore next year with my cat friend. She and I will have known each other for 50 years this December so we decided we need to celebrate. I also want to get some renovations done on my house too.

I can justify the streaming platforms I have because I really don't have any friends aside from cat friend anymore. The friends I did have kind of gave up on me because of ex friend and her kids. So instead of catching up with friends I usually watch Fox, Netflix or Disney. Or chat with you. I wish I had you and other Sane friends in real life sometimes. 

Are you looking forward to uni and your psych visit? You're still going once a week right? I hope you're getting some help from the sessions.