Gimme a break.

[Flowerflesh]

I finished my last dose of antidepressant [edited by moderator] about 2 weeks ago, I'd weaned off it because I couldn't hack the side effects, namely nausea. Since coming off completely I've noticed a plunge in my mood, so I think it was somewhat assisting with my peaks and troughs. A quick google tells me it takes about 21 days for this medication to wash out, so I'm hopeful I'll feel a little better in another week. 

However, whatever my next move with medication, it's lifestyle stuff that needs to shift for me to make a difference. I feel stuck with that stuff and would love any insights people have.

I'm in my late 30s and have a relatively healthy body, however my motivation levels are super low at present. I had nose surgery (septorhinoplasty with turbinectomy) 10 weeks ago for improving my breathing. I work 4 days/week in a stressful clinical admin heavy job. I care for my partner who has a chronic illness and often can't do stuff around the house because of this. I'm currently ineligible for carer gateway supports because my partner is registered with them as my carer for my mental health but we don't get anything from them at present because there's too much admin for my partner to organise getting help. 

Keeping our home clean and organised feels like a losing battle. We pay for a fortnightly cleaner which is sometimes helpful but our cleaner (while a lovely person) often breaks things as they have their own issues. We love in a rural area where there is little choice for services like this. 

We have primary aged kid who has a few after/before school activities. It takes every last scerric of energy to get them to their activities, complete a full day of work, make/buy meals. 

I'm in survival mode. 

Organising fun things sounds nice but doesn't feel doable. I have great goals for my life and my family but nothing feels achievable right now. 

[Flowerflesh]

Just to add to this...

I've been in my current job for 10 months. At the moment I question every day whether I should quit. My partner works so there's some financial safety but it'd definitely be a hit for me to stop. Like we'd no longer be able to save the little we'd been managing to before. I feel quitting my job could potentially help our household run a bit more functionally but it'd stifle my career again, as I've had taken career breaks before due to mental health. If I quit my job I'd prob get a lower stress role like gardening.

We're renters in a long term low rate lease with a relative so that's a plus. 

I take medication [edited by moderator] for ADHD.

I see a psychologist with some subsidy from a mental health care plan, and see a psychiatrist every 6 months. 

I've tried a few different anti-depressants over the years and I don't like their blunting effect. I'm currently in the process of assessment with my psychologist with provisional diagnoses of persistent depressive disorder and CPTSD, but I've also had bipolar 2 and PTSD slapped on me along the way. I also have pretty persistent anxiety. 

[Jynx]

Hey @Flowerflesh - sounds like it's been quite a journey for you with trying to find the right balance for your meds whilst also figuring out what might need to shift in your life to feel more stability.

I know there's some folks around here who have experience with withdrawing from meds - I think @Cuddlebear has been slogging through quite the uphill battle with it of late. I think @AlwaysMyself has some solid experience with the 'blunting' side of antidepressants and might have some insight to offer. 

Being stuck in survival mode is also super challenging, our dear @Captain24 is going through it at the moment too. 

Good on you for reaching out, I hope you find what you're looking for 💜

[Flowerflesh]

Thanks for the connection @Jynx