Something’s not right
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22-01-2021 02:19 PM
22-01-2021 02:19 PM
Re: My Mosaic
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22-01-2021 04:13 PM
22-01-2021 04:13 PM
Re: My Mosaic
im feeling really confused this afternoon. feeling overwhelmed with the mess thats inside my head
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22-01-2021 04:14 PM
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22-01-2021 04:15 PM
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22-01-2021 04:46 PM
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22-01-2021 10:59 PM
22-01-2021 10:59 PM
Re: My Mosaic
While I was away I was so desperate to come home cause I wasn’t coping. But now that I am home I realise I don’t want to be here either cause it’s just as bad. While away I wanted my safe haven, yet I don’t feel safe at home. I don’t know what is going on I feel so confused.
On the drive home I nearly made a really scary decision, I didn’t though, I didn’t do it. I’ve been crying all evening about how stupid I feel, how dangerous that decision could of been. How easily I could of done it and how easily it could of all been over.
Dealing with a lot of anger inside me tonight. Angry at how I dealt with the week away, how bad my sh is getting and that everything just feels so out of control, worse than before. I want to restrict, I need to get some kind of control back in my life before I do something else.
I’m so ashamed of the person I am becoming. I feel terrible that this pdoc is coming into his office on Aus day to see me, I’m not worth it. I don’t even know if I’ll get there. Just don’t know.
I want to feel. I need to feel something. I wish I could sleep, I need to sleep and not wake. I can’t even begin to figure out how to face tomorrow feeling this way.
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22-01-2021 11:23 PM
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22-01-2021 11:36 PM
22-01-2021 11:36 PM
Re: My Mosaic
So sorry @Bow
I wish I knew how to take the pain away for you. Are you safe tonight, now hunny?
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24-01-2021 12:40 PM
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24-01-2021 01:42 PM
24-01-2021 01:42 PM
Re: My Mosaic
I wish there was an easy way for it to be over without hurting anyone, without any pain. Just for me to leave without any consequences. I don’t know who I am anymore, I don’t know who I have become. Trauma left me broken, mental illness stamped upon me. I don’t know what to do with the darkness that’s inside me. Where do I go when I cant stand living in my own head. Thers is no escape, nowhere to run from this pain filled cage.